It's comforting to know I've had this dumb thing for so many years, And none of my friends now will ever read this but it makes me feel better to know that this will not fall on deaf ears. Someone out there will read this. and better that you DONT know me.

I feel like i'm being cornered into a life I dont want or maybe a life I am just not ready for. I feel like I am meant for something more, and If I am then HAPPEN already. The big thing thats supposed to happen in my life needs to happen now Because I am starting to give up and lose sight of everything I am working so hard for.

Is no longer relevant. It is not who I am anymore. Today I met with Jolie and had a very uplifiting talk with her, like always. We discussed alone time, and the said term was never anything i looked at as a positive. I hate being alone. I hate feeling like I have noone to talk to even if it's for a second of my day. The problem is I had been focusing on past relationships with other people and past experiences, But alot has changed in my life and I should embrace these improvements. Without the chance to reflect on myself and understand my own being, how will I allow anyone else to appreciate the ME that I have become?

This is a vow to appreciate the time I have alone, and look forward to my successes, my progress, my growth. I dont like it here, but I will suck it up and do the best I can until I reach the point I am thriving towards.

Baby thank you for an amazing weekend, I appreciate you like you would not understand, and I hope you know how much I mean it when I say you're the best, and I am very Lucky. I love you!